Socrates said “I Know one thing: that I know nothing

• How come I was so blind?
• How did I let something like this happen to me?
• What if I cannot forgive myself for acting so stupid?
• Why did i cause myself all this pain?
• How did I let myself get dragged into this?

Are you constantly beating yourself up, blaming yourself, feeling disappointed because of a failed relationship, an incident at work, a friendship gone wrong… wondering what you could have done differently?

Do you tend to spend countless hours criticizing and blaming yourself for not knowing better, for not realizing earlier, for not acting wiser? Lots of questions run through your mind and every single question makes you wanting to blame yourself more or the people and/ or the situation.

People leave, friendships fail, and relationships fade. Things change, feelings change, you change. it is time to start understanding that it is not always your fault. However sometimes it is; What makes a situation worse is  when you saw a thing coming and you didn’t do anything about it either because you didn’t have the strengths or simply you chose to ignore and not to see.

This reminds me of the ostrich bird that appear to bury its heads in the sand to avoid predators. We sometimes tend to ignore obvious warning signs, justifying bad behaviors in others, refusing to accept advice from the closest people, mistaking reality with what you think you have, hoping that things will be different. Simply denying the existence of a problem will not make it go away and trusting that life will take care of it is not an option.  And even if you want to deal with a problem/ a situation or a person you don’t find yourself willing, as there is a big difference between these 2 W’s. Wanting is not the same as willing. It takes a real decision to act.

When the time comes and you remove your glasses and you start seeing clearly, the relationship was an illusion, the friendship was not genuine, you were taken advantage of at work, etc.. this when you start blaming yourself for not reading the facts earlier, for not knowing better. This is when you realize that you were looking for what you thought you wanted in the wrong place and the dark feeling starts eating you up.

It is time to stop blaming yourself simply because it will not get you anywhere and things will not get any better if you keep doing so. You are just blocking your happiness.

The below is what you need to remember to help you move on:

–        You are a blessed child of god and you have so much to give for those who are ready to receive.

–        Make a vow for kindness, decide to be kind to yourself, let go and give yourself the gift of the present.

–        Choose joy today not only because you are fed up feeling tired, choose joy because you are joy.

–        Remind yourself of your value. You are smart, passionate, kind, ambitious, and beautiful. So many people in your life love and admire you.

–        Don’t question your worth, raise your standards because you deserve the best

–        Remember that your happiness doesn’t depend on someone else but you

–        Slow down, find the lessons that need to be learnt

–        Pick yourself up and focus on other areas of your life that matter

–        Believe that your journey has a purpose even if you are not aware of it at the present, it will make sense later I promise.

People who hold onto self-blame for so long do so because they want to avoid dealing with their pain. Blaming manifests in your health, choices and beliefs. Want to be free? Know that nothing outside of you has power over you. You decide how you want to feel, think and do. Just take ownership of your life.

Linda Chaccour
Founder
Life Strategist and Happiness Coach