“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” Mahatma Gandhi
One of the most important lessons I learnt from my mother is to forgive and let go. I asked my mother to tell me more about forgiveness; and this is what she wrote me:
“You forgive people not because they deserve it. You forgive them because you need to free yourself from hatred and resentment in order to get healthier in your thinking and reach happiness. It needs a lot of courage to forgive, overlook and forget. However, if you are not able to forgive those who wronged you, you will always stay trapped in your anger and your old grievances and this will not allow you to move on in your life. Forgiving heals your soul and relieves you of a burden you would have been carrying for a longtime. And when you understand the true meaning of forgiveness, you free yourself and you open the gate to your freedom.” Leila
And she is right…
There is no end to what the power of forgiveness can do. Whether you need to forgive others, or you need to forgive yourself, the spiritual process of forgiveness sets you free from the past and enables you to fulfill your true potential. Forgiveness will clear the bitterness away and stop your suffering.
Yes suffering! because if you want be happy and travel light in the midst of this life, you need to let go of past hurdles, anger and resentment you have towards your own self or towards any other soul, you need to forgive and make peace.
Nelson mandala quoted “Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear…
Resentment is like drinking poison and hoping it will kill your enemies.” Nelson Mandela knew that forgiveness is not a gift we give others; it is a gift we give ourselves. It is the true freedom from pain and anger that can harm your body, mind heart and soul.
Ask yourself : what if everything that had happened to me in life really did happen for a reason? What if any challenge I am facing and any pain I am feeling is there to serve me in the long run? What if life was always happening for me and not to me? Your answers will help you find a higher meaning to your past hurdles, failure, a meaning that can support your growth and evolution into a better human being . Try it!
So how does one learn to forgive especially when the pain was and is still strong?
When you feel the need to forgive, it means that you need to raise your standards, elevate your belief system and make it better than the person who harmed you.
Follow the steps below to start your healing process:
- Think about the person or the situation you need/ want to forgive.
- Acknowledge your feelings, thoughts and attitude towards that particular situation or person. Just be genuine and honest.Then express your desire to heal, forgive and let go of anger, resentment, disappointment…
- Remind yourself of the benefits of forgiveness and its spiritual powers in general then think about the positive impact it will have on you or others if you chose to let it go.
- Remember a past time when you found forgiveness in your heart, how did you do it, and why?
- Put yourself in a state of gratitude, in a complete state of thankfulness to the gift of life that you have, the forgiving process becomes easier when you are in that state. Note that you cannot be in two different states at the same time, so if you are in gratitude state you cannot be in fear or in a pain state at all.
- Cultivate a genuine compassion for those who have wronged you. Deepen your understanding that people sometimes they hurt others because they feel insecure, unappreciated, fearful, starving for love and lacking certainty.
- Think about a role model, the great masters of forgiveness like Nelson Mandala, mother Theresa, or Dalai Lama, read their stories, and get inspired.
- Remember a time when you were forgiven.
Most people think that the act of forgiveness is the hardest and most impossible thing to do. Today I tell you, change your perception and your feelings and attitude will follow. Forgiveness gives you great power, makes you stronger over past mistakes and helps you move on. Forgiveness is the key to happiness. Remember a healed memory is not a deleted memory. Let go and just be amazed by what you see through the eyes of grace.
Linda Chaccour
Founder Emerge Coaching
Life Strategist and Happiness Consultant
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