Inner confidence is critical for children happiness and success in life. It is their driving force to have faith in themselves and belief in their abilities and be the person they want to be. Children with strong inner confidence take pride in their abilities and accomplishments and are more willing to try new things and achieve goals. They tend to have better relationships, feel happier, deal better with life challenges, mistakes, disappointments, and failures. Also, they are less susceptible to peer pressure and more likely to be a positive influence on other children.
Follow these tips to boost your child’s inner confidence:
– Be a positive role model; You are the most powerful influence in your child’s life and your attitude to your own confidence will affect him. Nurture your own self-confidence and your child will have a great role model!
– Be impeccable with your word. It sounds very simple but it is very powerful. A child’s mind is like a fertile ground where seeds i.e. opinions, ideas, thoughts are being planted that will form his belief system. Use positive and supportive talk and be careful with what you say. If you want to make a personal remark to your child, make it clear that it is about his behavior and not about him personally.
– Tune in to what your child say about him. This will give you an important insight into how he perceives himself. Catch him being critical and challenge his negative language and help him counter it by saying something positive. For instance sentences as “I will not be able to.. or I cannot or… I am hopeless..”, Could be replaced by “ I can..’ or I am good at…” or “I am great at”…
– Encourage your child to share and talk openly and honestly with you about his negative and positive feelings. By helping him understand what and why he is feeling, you are assisting him to build his confidence.
– Identify one activity that you and your child can learn to do together and enjoy sharing the experience. Choose something that you would both love to do together ex: attending a yoga class, swimming, ice skating…
– Celebrate his achievements by displaying them around the house. You probably have piles of things he has made, pictures, projects, cards… notes, letters…, it is always good to be reminded of his past successes which he is proud of and to remember how he felt about it. Your child will love being surrounded by instant confidence boosters!!
– Praising for achievements and efforts allows your child to take ownership of something well done or well said. Always give positive feedback no matter how small or big the effort / achievement is, without overdoing of course.
– Let your child make decisions; a child gains confidence in his own judgments when he gets the chance to make choices from a young age. It is best to give your child two or three options to choose from outfits to wear, healthy snacks,…choices of games to play…
Building confidence can be practiced like any other skill. Boost your child’s confidence in an area that he feels good about will help boost his self-belief in general. Try to expose your child to a wide variety of activities, and encourage him to find something he really loves that he can excel in. children who have a passion, feel proud of their expertise and are more likely to be successful in other areas of their life.
Linda Chaccour – Certified Youth, Parent and Family Coach
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